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<title>Tell me how this ain’t a relationship by Homosexualityismyspiritanimal</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26922085">Tell me how this ain’t a relationship</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Homosexualityismyspiritanimal/pseuds/Homosexualityismyspiritanimal'>Homosexualityismyspiritanimal</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hamilton - Fandom, Lin Manuel Miranda - Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M, One Sided Attraction, Pining John Laurens, Sad John, Stupid Alexander Hamilton, sorta - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 01:35:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,012</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26922085</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Homosexualityismyspiritanimal/pseuds/Homosexualityismyspiritanimal</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>This fanfic is based off of the song called relationship by Anthony Ramos. Seriously recommend you listen to it!<br/>John is in love with Alexander but he doesn’t want just a friends with benefits situation, he wants to be in a relationship. Alexander doesn’t want a relationship with John, and is satisfied with just being friends with benefits. I feel like I rushed it at the end but tell me if you want me to write other stuff.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>John Laurens/Alexander Hamilton</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Tell me how this ain’t a relationship</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>It’s kind of sad but there will be fluff included!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>John and Alexander have been best friends since basically the dawn of time. Now they are friends with benefits since both are too stubborn to admit that they are single. Even though this has its benefits it also has its flaws. Like severely hurting Johns feelings for Alexander. But since they both agreed to just continue being friends with benefits, and not be in a relationship with each other, John just had to deal with the heartbreak.<br/>
It’s times like these where John wishes he never agreed to just be friends with benefits. Now he had to deal with getting slightly chewed out by Alex because he was being a little too personal with the hugs, and trying to kiss him didn’t help. John sighed as he walked out of the coffee shop with Alex, trying his hardest to not reach for his hand. "Look, we both know I’m not looking for a relationship right now, and that I’m happy with what we have, right?" Alexander half stated half asked. "Yeah I know, I mean I’m not looking for a relationship either it’s just your being a bit confusing-" John was cut off by Alexander "I just don’t want anyone to know okay?" John sighed, averting his gaze from Alex’s before responding. "Yeah. Okay. C’mon let’s go home then." His voice failing to show its usual cheer and happiness.<br/>
Time skip<br/>
Alex was at Johns place and was making out with him until John broke it off to breath. "What’s wrong Jacky? Is it work? We can talk if you want to." Alexander asked. "Oh I’m fine, it’s just you know how my dad can get with the whole thing about getting a girlfriend, and having a wife and children to help carry on the family legacy." John said. "No I don’t know. But from what I hear from you it’s pretty fucking terrible." Alexander said jokingly, trying to get John to laugh. John chuckled while Alex was smiling at him affectionately. "What about you? Is Jefferson being a jerk again?" I ask knowing full well that Alexander can go non stop about how much Jefferson can annoy him. "Oh you won’t believe the shit Jefferson said!-" Alexander started talking about how Jefferson insulted him and his background, all while trying to convince Washington to agree with him about how France is the best. (No hate to France btw) All John could do was just laugh at Alexander and the petty arguments he gets into with Jefferson. After a while, Alex had to leave for work. "Bye Jacky, see you later~" John almost fainted from the look Alex gave him but managed to respond with a very quick yes, while hiding his blushing face.<br/>
A few months later<br/>
John was starting to realize how much this little friends with benefits thing was affecting his health. Whenever he tried to kiss or hold Alex’s hand, Alex would either push him away or tell him not now. Which at first was easy to deal with, until his feelings started getting worse, like holy shit I’m in love kinda worse. John wished he could call it off but then Alex would end up asking him why, and then it would turn into this whole situation where Alex would hate him for falling in love with him and just no. So John decided to stick it out. Until the final straw. It was like any other day, they went out to the bar got drunk then had some fun. But no today Alex had to be the one flirting with him, he had to be the one touching him, hugging him, holding him. It became too much for John to handle. So when Alex tried to kiss him again, John snapped at him. "Why!? Why Alex!? Why must you hurt me like this! You say no I can’t hug you in public then you go and kiss me?! Then you act like nothing happened telling our friends that you don’t like me like that! Do you know how much you hurt me when you do that?!" John couldn’t take it, with tears in his eyes he stormed out of the bar, before whispering his final goodbye and leaving to his house. His heart was racing with pain, hurt, regret, anger, and just sadness at how he had to fall in love with his best friend, who definitely didn’t like him back, and was just using him for his body. It just hurt him so much that he just wanted to die. End the pain. But John knew better so he decided he would move back to South Carolina, to live with his sister again. He ignored every call for his name, every angry shout for bumping into someone, until he got into his home, shut the door, and cried. He just cried his feelings out until he couldn’t cry anymore. Then got up, packed his things and drove to the airport. His phone kept blowing up with his friends and Alex asking if he’s okay and where he was at. He ignored all of Alexander’s texts but would leave the others on read so they knew he was alive. He got to the airport, and boarded a plane, where he met his sister again and moved in with her until this whole hurricane of emotions passed. He barely ate, but when he did it felt amazing. About a month later, he felt like it was safe enough for him to text all of his friends including Alex. Each text said the same thing. Hey, I just wanted to let you know that I was having a lot of trouble and was dealing with some depression sort of, I needed time away from someone and it affected me too much to stay there in New York. So I moved down to South Carolina and moved in with my sister. Im fine now and i think I’ll be moving back up to New York again. I just might need some more time to recover.<br/>
Yrs forever,<br/>
J. Laurens</p>
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